This is how it was done:
Monday, September 2, 2013
Joking or Bullying? thoughts on how to tell.
We can easily identify rape, murder, and theft by looking at the facts. Harassment? Discrimination? Bullying? These three are much less clear-cut. In the past 60 years a lot of work has been put into identifying and preventing discrimination. In the last 10 years a lot of progress has been made identifying and preventing harassment. What about bullying? Most everyone has experienced bullying at some time in life. It attacks the inside more than the outside. It attacks our emotions and our identity.
Is it good?
Some of us think being attacked emotionally or mentally is a part of life and that the way to deal with it is to "toughen up" and ignore it. This article is not for you. You have already given up on your American constitutional right to the pursuit of happiness. Of course you still pursue happiness. The difference is you set the bar lower for yourself and expect those around you to adopt your disability as well. I can run. I'm not sitting in that wheelchair.
The key to preventing bullying lies in how to identify bullying. Bullying is rather hard to identify because it attacks the inside more than the outside. According to Google's definition, bullying is the use of superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants. I disagree with this definition. Notice the word I italicized: "typically." I think the reason bullying is so hard to prevent is because its only easy to identify when the motivation behind bullying is to force someone to do something the bully wants. I believe bullying is not typically to force someone to do anything. However this occasionally is the motivation. I maintain that bullying is typically just to "use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone)." This internal bullying is the worst kind because it attacks a person's soul.
In elementary school I was standing in line for lunch. I was standing in front of Caleb (a very quiet kid) and Tim (a not so quiet kid) was standing behind Caleb. Tim was bored and starting talking to Caleb about Caleb.
"Man! Caleb, you have a big head!"
This was true. Caleb did have a very big head.
Tim repeated himself
"you have a big head!"
He turned to the guy behind him, "doesn't Caleb have the hugest head you've ever seen!?"
He turned back to Caleb, "don't you think you have a big head?"
Caleb still didn't respond. He looked uncomfortable.
"Do you hear me Caleb?"
He looks around Caleb and starts talking to me about Caleb's huge head. In the beginning of this whole episode it was a little funny because it was true, Caleb had a HUGE head and I didn't particularly like Caleb either. He was usually very quiet but when he did speak he would say really stupid things. Yeah, Caleb had a big head but I don't doubt that he was already self conscious of it. He just pretended to ignore Tim.
Tim persisted, "It is soooooooo huge! I can't even see around it!"
I realized this had been out of hand from the start and said something to Tim.
"C'mon man stop picking on him."
"I'm not picking on him. Its a fact. He has a big head!"
"Maybe so but you don't have to pick on him about it."
Tim looks at Caleb's head, "I'm not picking on you Caleb; you know that right? I'm just joking around. You really do have a big head."
"Stop it man. You're just picking on him."
"No I'm not!"
...
It continued like this till we finished going through the lunch line. Their was nothing I could do and their was nothing Caleb could do. I didn't like Caleb but I still felt sorry for him. He was helpless. He didn't know how to respond back to Tim. Joking is mutual. Joking is balanced. Joking is for the purpose of being friendly. Tim wasn't trying to be friendly.
So often bullying is defended with
"but it's true!"
"we we're just joking around!"
(no, not true. you were joking around. Both parties have to be having fun for "just joking/messing around" to be appropriate)
I've even heard the classic: "I was just joking. We're friends."
In order to prevent bullying we must first be able to identify it and distinguish it from other things such as "facts" and "joking."
What is the common denominator between harassment, discrimination, bullying, rape, murder, and theft?
It is one sided. It is not in both parties interest. It is one side's choice and it is not the other side's choice. It isn't compromise. It isn't just a slightly unfair trade or deal. There is not choice. There is no perception of the other person's needs or rights as a human being.
There isn't much that can be done to completely stop bullying but what can be done is that we can be fully aware of the problem, know how to identify it, know that it should not be tolerated and to put your big kid pants on and say something. If bullies get pointed out for their behavior, I think that it would dramatically decrease. I think a lot of bullies actually don't realize that what they are doing is wrong. Some do but I think a lot of us (including me) have bullied someone else and not realized it. If someone had said something to me I would have realized what I was doing was wrong and stopped doing it.
The key: SAY SOMETHING.
Is it good?
Some of us think being attacked emotionally or mentally is a part of life and that the way to deal with it is to "toughen up" and ignore it. This article is not for you. You have already given up on your American constitutional right to the pursuit of happiness. Of course you still pursue happiness. The difference is you set the bar lower for yourself and expect those around you to adopt your disability as well. I can run. I'm not sitting in that wheelchair.
The key to preventing bullying lies in how to identify bullying. Bullying is rather hard to identify because it attacks the inside more than the outside. According to Google's definition, bullying is the use of superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants. I disagree with this definition. Notice the word I italicized: "typically." I think the reason bullying is so hard to prevent is because its only easy to identify when the motivation behind bullying is to force someone to do something the bully wants. I believe bullying is not typically to force someone to do anything. However this occasionally is the motivation. I maintain that bullying is typically just to "use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone)." This internal bullying is the worst kind because it attacks a person's soul.
In elementary school I was standing in line for lunch. I was standing in front of Caleb (a very quiet kid) and Tim (a not so quiet kid) was standing behind Caleb. Tim was bored and starting talking to Caleb about Caleb.
"Man! Caleb, you have a big head!"
This was true. Caleb did have a very big head.
Tim repeated himself
"you have a big head!"
He turned to the guy behind him, "doesn't Caleb have the hugest head you've ever seen!?"
He turned back to Caleb, "don't you think you have a big head?"
Caleb still didn't respond. He looked uncomfortable.
"Do you hear me Caleb?"
He looks around Caleb and starts talking to me about Caleb's huge head. In the beginning of this whole episode it was a little funny because it was true, Caleb had a HUGE head and I didn't particularly like Caleb either. He was usually very quiet but when he did speak he would say really stupid things. Yeah, Caleb had a big head but I don't doubt that he was already self conscious of it. He just pretended to ignore Tim.
Tim persisted, "It is soooooooo huge! I can't even see around it!"
I realized this had been out of hand from the start and said something to Tim.
"C'mon man stop picking on him."
"I'm not picking on him. Its a fact. He has a big head!"
"Maybe so but you don't have to pick on him about it."
Tim looks at Caleb's head, "I'm not picking on you Caleb; you know that right? I'm just joking around. You really do have a big head."
"Stop it man. You're just picking on him."
"No I'm not!"
...
It continued like this till we finished going through the lunch line. Their was nothing I could do and their was nothing Caleb could do. I didn't like Caleb but I still felt sorry for him. He was helpless. He didn't know how to respond back to Tim. Joking is mutual. Joking is balanced. Joking is for the purpose of being friendly. Tim wasn't trying to be friendly.
So often bullying is defended with
"but it's true!"
"we we're just joking around!"
(no, not true. you were joking around. Both parties have to be having fun for "just joking/messing around" to be appropriate)
I've even heard the classic: "I was just joking. We're friends."
In order to prevent bullying we must first be able to identify it and distinguish it from other things such as "facts" and "joking."
What is the common denominator between harassment, discrimination, bullying, rape, murder, and theft?
It is one sided. It is not in both parties interest. It is one side's choice and it is not the other side's choice. It isn't compromise. It isn't just a slightly unfair trade or deal. There is not choice. There is no perception of the other person's needs or rights as a human being.
There isn't much that can be done to completely stop bullying but what can be done is that we can be fully aware of the problem, know how to identify it, know that it should not be tolerated and to put your big kid pants on and say something. If bullies get pointed out for their behavior, I think that it would dramatically decrease. I think a lot of bullies actually don't realize that what they are doing is wrong. Some do but I think a lot of us (including me) have bullied someone else and not realized it. If someone had said something to me I would have realized what I was doing was wrong and stopped doing it.
The key: SAY SOMETHING.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Polite or Lie?
Politeness is a socially acceptable suit of lies tailored solely for wear by those of us who don't care to weave the fabric of respect, gentleness, and love for ourselves. Politeness is love from the Godless.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Pushing My Opinion
Who wants the answer to a question they didn't ask?
Who accepts something they don't want?
No matter how much I promote a new idea it will likely not be accepted until it solves a problem someone has looked to solve or answers a question someone has already asked. I should not force my thoughts on anyone. This is why blogging is great! No one is forced to read a blog.
Who accepts something they don't want?
No matter how much I promote a new idea it will likely not be accepted until it solves a problem someone has looked to solve or answers a question someone has already asked. I should not force my thoughts on anyone. This is why blogging is great! No one is forced to read a blog.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Taxpayers & Free-Riders
This is a popular topic to rage about. No taxpayer wants the money that they are required to pay the government to be wasted. We hear stories of how someone took advantage of the system and wasted their 'government assistance' on a new television or spent $300 dollars of food stamps on candy bars at the Plaid Pantry down the road. The assistance given by the government is NOT free money.
I don't like it. I don't completely understand it, however I don't think all citizens receiving government assistance are like this.
These government programs HELP people.
>Some of these people are disabled and can't work.
>Some can't get a job because of the economy.
>Some can't get jobs because they have no skills needed in the workforce.
>Some can't get jobs because they were never taught how to be someone a business would want to hire.
>Some don't know how to find a job or even know where to find out how to get one.
>Some citizens can work and have jobs but still can't cover their costs.
>Maybe they are a single parent.
>Maybe they are a student.
There are also citizens who can work and don't. They could get a job but don't. Their families and society did not instill proper values of hard work, responsibility and servitude. These people ride on the backs of taxpayers.
We are a culture of individuals. We like it that way. We like to see the fruits of our individual labor. We value the ability to not concern ourselves with the unsuccessful. We can choose to support or ignore anything or anyone we please.
We have made these people.
I have made these people.
Should we support them?
Every system has flaws because every system is made up of human beings and we are not perfect. These "moochers" are just the flaw in the system. I don't believe we should generalize this flaw to citizens who actually need assistance. There are millions of people in this country who need assistance and there are still more who genuinely need it but can't get it. We need to work to weed out assistance to those who don't need it and redirect it to those who still need it but can not get it.
If supporting citizens who need support means supporting some who don't, should we cease support?
This is America.
We are individualists who believe in helping the those who need.
Our assistance to any greater good has a cost.
Are free-riders just an operating cost?
I don't like it. I don't completely understand it, however I don't think all citizens receiving government assistance are like this.
These government programs HELP people.
>Some of these people are disabled and can't work.
>Some can't get a job because of the economy.
>Some can't get jobs because they have no skills needed in the workforce.
>Some can't get jobs because they were never taught how to be someone a business would want to hire.
>Some don't know how to find a job or even know where to find out how to get one.
>Some citizens can work and have jobs but still can't cover their costs.
>Maybe they are a single parent.
>Maybe they are a student.
There are also citizens who can work and don't. They could get a job but don't. Their families and society did not instill proper values of hard work, responsibility and servitude. These people ride on the backs of taxpayers.
We are a culture of individuals. We like it that way. We like to see the fruits of our individual labor. We value the ability to not concern ourselves with the unsuccessful. We can choose to support or ignore anything or anyone we please.
We have made these people.
I have made these people.
Should we support them?
Every system has flaws because every system is made up of human beings and we are not perfect. These "moochers" are just the flaw in the system. I don't believe we should generalize this flaw to citizens who actually need assistance. There are millions of people in this country who need assistance and there are still more who genuinely need it but can't get it. We need to work to weed out assistance to those who don't need it and redirect it to those who still need it but can not get it.
If supporting citizens who need support means supporting some who don't, should we cease support?
This is America.
We are individualists who believe in helping the those who need.
Our assistance to any greater good has a cost.
Are free-riders just an operating cost?
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Why do so Many Reviews give so Little Information?
Why do most film, music, and book reviewers use opinion adjectives?! Words like nice, good, outstanding, exciting, dynamic, enthralling; are all opinion adjectives. They are all based on perception rather than fact. The purpose of a review is to give a thorough, objective view point intended to cause the audience to create their own "opinion adjectives." A review guides the audience to determine whether the media presented is to the interest. If an artist has to use primarily opinion adjectives in order to deceive the intended audience into believing the media is to their interest, then the artist needs to reassess why their media does not naturally appeal to their intended audience.
-OUTSTANDING! HAUNTINGLY EVOCATIVE! - NEW YORK TIMES
Don't take media reviews from popular media networks seriously. They obviously didn't read it.
-OUTSTANDING! HAUNTINGLY EVOCATIVE! - NEW YORK TIMES
Don't take media reviews from popular media networks seriously. They obviously didn't read it.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Act Of Valor (the movie)
I finally saw Act of Valor: the film about Navy SEALs.
I was disappointed.
It had some intense action sequences and spurred deep thoughts and insights but nevertheless it still wasn't that great.
I will tell you exactly what was wrong with it.
It did not show the building or growth of any relationships. If you pay close attention to the relationships/friendships in the greatest and most popular films ever made, you will notice one thing. Throughout the story a relationship is BUILT. It shows constant growth.
Now don't get too upset. You are probably thinking that I'm am dead wrong.
I'm not.
I did see relationships and companionship in the film, but it only showed existing and the results of an already strong relationship. A movie's goal is to draw the viewer into the story. In effect, by only showing the current strength of the SEALs' bond to one another and to their families, it left the viewer out.
Don't leave the viewer out of a story. It makes the story boring.
(I actually had a hard time paying attention)
When Chief jumped on the grenade I could see the strength of the bond Chief had to his men. (It was actually very inspiring) However, it only showed the results of a fully developed relationship.
What would have made the story interesting would have been to see how the SEAL team came together and bonded through hardship. Someone needs to sit the writer down and make him watch The Band of Brothers mini-series and The Pacific. Those two are the best war films I have ever seen. They had great effects, great action sequences, unbelievable cinematics, deep dynamic characters, damn good dialogue, the inside view to the development of the relationships between the main characters, and an overall great story line. If only every movie was like those two mini-series'!
Overall the effects, cinematics, and action were well done. Its too bad the writer missed the basic element in every good story; the growth of a relationship.
I was disappointed.
It had some intense action sequences and spurred deep thoughts and insights but nevertheless it still wasn't that great.
I will tell you exactly what was wrong with it.
It did not show the building or growth of any relationships. If you pay close attention to the relationships/friendships in the greatest and most popular films ever made, you will notice one thing. Throughout the story a relationship is BUILT. It shows constant growth.
Now don't get too upset. You are probably thinking that I'm am dead wrong.
I'm not.
I did see relationships and companionship in the film, but it only showed existing and the results of an already strong relationship. A movie's goal is to draw the viewer into the story. In effect, by only showing the current strength of the SEALs' bond to one another and to their families, it left the viewer out.
Don't leave the viewer out of a story. It makes the story boring.
(I actually had a hard time paying attention)
When Chief jumped on the grenade I could see the strength of the bond Chief had to his men. (It was actually very inspiring) However, it only showed the results of a fully developed relationship.
What would have made the story interesting would have been to see how the SEAL team came together and bonded through hardship. Someone needs to sit the writer down and make him watch The Band of Brothers mini-series and The Pacific. Those two are the best war films I have ever seen. They had great effects, great action sequences, unbelievable cinematics, deep dynamic characters, damn good dialogue, the inside view to the development of the relationships between the main characters, and an overall great story line. If only every movie was like those two mini-series'!
Overall the effects, cinematics, and action were well done. Its too bad the writer missed the basic element in every good story; the growth of a relationship.
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